Saturday, May 31, 2008

A lil’ bit o’ this…

There are so many awesome things happening right now. I’m not just doing OK, I’m doing great. With a little help of drugs and alcohol, yes, but that’s still an improvement. Yesterday I ate decent food, bought the first season of Star Trek The Next Generation (super snazzy looking box), hung out with some friends, looked nice in one of my new dresses and made the first mixed tape of the year for the Sweden Rock festival. I should be able to make this a great summer.
Posted by Scarebaby at 09:59:17 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Monday, May 26, 2008

XD

There are some beauties in growing up, some things that takes you back to the magic of Christmas frenzies and pony rides. Right now I’m like a giddy little girl in a candy store, trying not to glance at the clock, trying to keep from peeking again and again. 5 minutes and 37 seconds left! The waiting is sweet, almost unbearable. I get butterflies in my stomach and my tongue keeps darting across my upper lip, a safe sign that I’m absentminded and completely engorged by my own cravings. This is so exciting! I’m grown up, I get to do stuff like this! 1 minute and 57 seconds left! I’m gonna piss my pants with excitement!
Posted by Scarebaby at 21:01:23 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Say it ain’t so

Last night, for the first time ever, Resident Evil wasn’t able to maintain its enchanting power over me and I gave up, leaving Poorly Animated Jill and Poorly Animated Chris to their Poorly Animated fates.

Am I growing up?
 
Am I getting picky?

No! I still have Umbrella patches and zombie stickers all over my property and graphics has never been an issue with me since I haven’t even moved on to any of the next gen consoles yet. I will treat this like a marriage that needs to be worked on; I’ll buy a new hand control, maybe a new and fresh memory card, get a bottle of fine wine and take a hot bath before gaming. I fear that some day I will wake up and think: “Blood? Gore? Zombies..? Hmm… Nope, dun ring a bell, I need to pay off the mortage and log in on parship so see if I have any new messages from OTHER GROWNUPS WHO ARE TOO LAME TO WANT HELLRAISER DECORATIONS IN THEIR LIVINGROOMS AND HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?!?!”

I’m a 21 year old woman and I fear marriage and kids.

Posted by Scarebaby at 09:56:38 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Truthfully

Melinda calls up the love of her life. He loves her too
loves, loves, loves, damnit!
so that’s not entirely a clumsy drunken thing to do. But Melinda makes it special, the way she makes every single bat of an eye a drug-liberal little miracle. She’s drunk but in a way she’s beautiful, even in the midst of making a spectacle of herself. When the last digit has been slowly and gently fingerfucked, like all the precious previous, she puts her feet up and leans
leans with her entire being, not just knees and boobs
into the conversation. His voice is a cliché riddled clusterfuck of glowing hazel eyes, a dominant forehead and sweet sugary lips that’s only slightly chapped and even though she hates unconditioned lips she can’t prevent her mind from swooning and puckering up for that celestial, sligthly greywhite, wisp of his kiss.
He kisses her gently, cupping her chin and gently steadying her head and she would do nothing but relish it and maybe even melt a little if she could just
for one cocksucking minute
disregard the fact that this is not how it’s supposed to be. There’s no such thing as being of the ‘wrong sex’ so why is she so persistent? Yes, he lives far away and the path that leads to him is littered with physical obstacles; seas, oceans, tears, ex-girlfriends, toiletseats left up for the last unforgiven time, but what do those things matter when he’s the third
meeeh, maybe fourth
best thing that has ever happened to her? Then there are mental obstacles… Oh ho, the mental obstacles…
This is a request.
She wishes to learn to relax. To chill and play it unsafe and let herself be swept away on this wave of undying, unconditional, unreal love that relentlessly carries her into his embrace. And she wishes that for one damn second of her life she wasn’t so fucking uncool.
Posted by Scarebaby at 08:50:18 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Down 50%

I lost a pusher last Tuesday. Now I only have one doctor prescribing my migraine drugs, which means I’m an empty shell.

Posted by Scarebaby at 11:03:11 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

This is me, always me

Lately my awesome buddy Ian French’s writing has been having quite a bad effect on me so to rid myself of these feelings of being stupid, inadequate and generally boring, I am now resorting to neologism. I know, you’d think I’d be better off just accepting my fate and go down with the ship but I’ll spite my pride and hold on to whatever vocabulary debris I can, until the hakurious sharks come to get me. I want to tell you of the stories, the wonders, the cunderations that floats inside my mind but at this point in my life I’m way too self absorbed to let anyone else out of there but myself. James, Odina and William were yelling at me the other night, more or less telling me to fucking get over myself and finish their story but they know what’ll happen if I try and force my creativity. That’s right, it’ll all get merdacious, soned and wenstretched.

What separates a good writer from a bad writer? Personal opinions? I guess that’s why I’ve decided to like neologism, which might seem quite strange since I still wake up in deim sweats at night, the lines of Harry Martinson’s “Aniara” echoing through my head. I want to do things, not just think about doing them. I want to learn sign language, Braille, Russian and Spanish. Reinvent neologism by rearranging all the letters on my keyboard and dropping a handful of epileptic tadpoles on it and just copyright every damn thing those adolescent amphibians seizures into this blog.

I could try doing this in Svengelska but that would be cheating.

Posted by Scarebaby at 10:55:39 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Only the sun knows

I’ll start this poem the way they all start
Proclaiming my hopes, my need, my love
Saying that without you there’d be a hole in my heart
And the sky would be cloudy up above


Her lips were shiny golden pearl
Or so they claimed when they’d kissed her
They ask me: “Jesus, do you know that girl?”
And I say: “Yeah, that’s my sister.”

Your face is the name of blushing art
You run, you fly, you’re wild and free
I’ll hold my breath as you depart
Without you, grayness overcomes me

Take my hand and hold it tight
Through roses, pines and heather
We’ll always walk through silvery nights
Because we belong together

Posted by Scarebaby at 14:22:10 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Jaws Unleashed

If someone asked me right now to choose anything in the whole world, anything at all, to be mine free of charge, I’d choose Appaloosa’s ”Jaws Unleashed” for the PlayStation2. Bad ratings and harsh reviews have bore down mercilessly on this game throughout the internet but I simply don’t care. I want this game! GameSpot’s reviewer Alex Navarro claims it to be an orgy in repetitive gameplay and frustrating controls, but I’m certain that being able to glide through the water in the shape of a gigantic maneating monster and just chomp down on unsuspecting beach babes will be enough to make me look past that. I. Want. This. Game. But I wouldn’t be able to spend money on it and still maintain a sufficient peace of mind when Alex Navarro advices so strongly against it. But I really really want this game…
Posted by Scarebaby at 14:24:48 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Happy Birthday Stephanie!

Me, all dressed up and ready for the party.

Glare.

Smoking.

Close up of my awesome mouthpiece.

More pics coming. Enjoy! =P

Posted by Scarebaby at 17:55:28 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Friday, May 2, 2008

The Wall and junk

Listening to Pink Floyd’s The Wall always makes me feel somewhat whole.If you, dearest and most faithful blog reader, would like to know more about me you just have to listen to “One of my turns” on The Wall. My only grief is that a complete stranger wrote it, I should have liked to pinpoint my soul like that myself instead.  
I did the unthinkable today, the first signs that I’m being junkified; I lied to my doctor to get a fresh prescription of pain killers. Yup. I’ve tried lying to myself but addiction is addiction, regardless what drug. Of course, I’m good at magnifying things, and the reason I’m being this self critical is because my fear of becoming addicted makes me paranoid about it. As said before, I’m not in too deep.
It’s my dear, wonderful sister’s birthday tomorrow and I’m getting her the best gift ever. Don’t dare out it here though in case she might sneak a read. She just snapped this picture of me. I look like a turtle.
Posted by Scarebaby at 15:47:50 | Permalink | Comments (1) »